Re: Discussions on electronic medium
Bapa Rao (brao@tis.com)
Mon, 21 Jul 1997 12:54:48 -0700 (PDT)
> For those who care, my advice on electronic discussions is this. Spend
> as much time as you want in fighting the other person's ideas if they
> clash with yours. Cyberspace is not the place to keep quiet. However,
> it is pointless to extend the fights to the person himself. To put it
> simply, "contest an idea, never contest a person". If somebody attacks
> you personally, deflect the discussions to the idea. It just drains
> too much emotional energy to fight a person.
I agree with your general message. I'll just observe that when ideas
are strongly cherished, any spirited attack on them cannot but be
tantamount to an attack on the self. This can't be helped. On the other
hand, the thing to remember is that everyone must make concessions to
social values like friendship, companionability and institution-building.
Otherwise, everyone (including ourselves) will be deprived of the same.
I think this is the unspoken point to remember when that bitter taste
creeps into the mouth in the course of a discussion. We are not lawyers
or sportsmen on opposing teams (but essentially playing the same game)
to fight like hell on the field (or in the courtroom) and then go off
and have a drink together afterwards; we have ideas and convictions that,
often, define our very lives. If we don't react when these are attacked,
when will we react?
That's why I call it a concession/sacrifice/compromise to retain our
balance and civility in the face of a spirited discussion. We should
accept that a sacrifice is being called for, and each of us judge for
ourselves whether it is worthwhile to make that sacrifice. I myself
have remained well within the credit side of the ledger; I expect others'
mileage to vary (since I mangled and mixed a couple of metaphors there,
perhaps this post will qualify as a illiterary (or teliyadu) post.).
Bapa [in a talkative mood this Monday a.m.] Rao
>
> I see that most of you know this and practice this already. I hope it
> is harmless to read it once more.
>
> Ramana
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