RE: maLLee mahejabeen (typos corrected)
Ramarao, Ram (Ram_Ramarao@tri.sbc.com)
Fri, 26 Dec 1997 13:57:43 -0600
Thanks again to Chowdary garu for making the holidays special. In fact,
it might be nice if others too pitch in with recent high caliber poetry.
Choose one or two fairly short but truly poetic pieces from poets of
your choice. Quality is the only criterion.
Having said a few things about the two previous poems posted, I would
like to continue it with this also.
Firstly, the theme in this piece is very poignant, the way it is
developed is quite impressive. Except for one word that gave away where
it was leading ("udyamAniki" in the fourth line), the beginning is
rather innocuous which makes the impact of the ending even more
profound. How I wish she didn't use that word there! When she talks
about wall posters in the second line, my first thought was about movie
posters. Perhaps those who know more about her poetry would have guessed
right away which posters she was talking about but ordinary people like
me would not. If that word were not there, until one gets to the phrase
"Bagnam cEstU" it goes like a "normal" poem describing a relatively
routine life. As the realization dawns on the reader of what is really
going to happen, it would be a shocker.
The poetic content in this poem in my view is less than the other two we
have seen. But the subject, together with the sequence in which it
develops, is remarkable (in this respect, it is better than the second
poem). Furthermore, depicting the events from the viewpoint of "his"
lover is beautiful. It would have been even more moving if it was from
the viewpoint of a child in the house - but the poet's choice should be
respected.
As part of the Silpam, one can notice the progression from "toli poddu
cIkaTi" to "toliJAmu veluturu" to "tolisandhya kAnti"; the "rasasPUrti"
in repeating the word "paiTa"; and the expert craftmanship through which
the reader is lulled into letting his guard down: the remarkable
alankArAs "UpiritO cali kAcukovaTam," and "kanureppalu penavEsukOvaTam;"
(contrast that stanza with the previous one which is relatively void of
alankArAs); and the intimacy depicted between the two - all very nicely
done.
On the weaknesses side: is there a hidden dhvani in "nI vartamAnAnni
mOstU?" One clear meaning is that she is carrying his news. Is she
pregnant too? Then is what she is carrying his "vartamAnam or
Bavishyattu?" Is "gaDapa dATaTam" simply meant to say that she went out,
or as per the conventional usage of that phrase, she is leaving her
parents? There is no other indication of that possibility in the poem.
As with "kavi samayam" in the first poem we saw before, she seems to be
using phrases of specific conventional usage either in literal sense
(assuming she does this consciously and intentionally) or perhaps
because she likes to use nice phrases somewhat loosely.
A second issue is the progression from "cIkaTi" to "kAnti". He pasted
the wallposters in the dark. If there's significance to this, then he is
not a diehard revolutionary (poetry normally doesn't talk about hero
doing great things in the dark). This is also borne out by the
"udyamAniki paTTina cemaTa" - usually heroes don't sweat (out of fear?)
because of their heroic deeds (even if these deeds are done in the
dark). Is the intent here that "he" is a simple, normal, low-level
revolutionary who cann't paste posters daylight and sweats even doing it
during the night, and in spite of this, he gets taken away by the
police? Now, contrasting this to the narrator coming out in "kAnti", is
the poet saying that the narrator is unafraid of being in the open in
broad daylight? This may be so because apparently the events narrated
happened a fairly long time ago (she vaguely remembers them now) and
she's still ok unlike him (whose crime was to paste wall posters). This
is not to make light of the situation - only trying to see if there are
deeper treasures.
May be I am digging too deep. I read cErAtalu sometime ago and many
other literary analyses by GVS and a number of others but I get the
feeling that when they like someone's work, they concentrate primarily
on praising by choosing to quote only those parts that they like and
mostly (but not completely, I must say) ignoring weaknesses (as they say
here, leaving with a friendly slap on the wrist). I don't believe that
pointing out the pitfalls is bad; in fact, if renowned critics like GVS
and cErA explicitly show the weaknesses, it helps those poets and others
to avoid them in the future (in one of his books, GVS postulates that
that is precisely the job of literary critics and says that the state of
Telugu literary criticism is far from it; but in his own analyses, he
rarely does that). Anyway, that's not the issue here and I am not trying
to criticize the critics. I would like to analyze a piece
comprehensively to the extent possible from different angles. It doesn't
have to be great from all angles to be judged good overall. This poem is
a fine piece of work that would have benefitted from further polishing,
in my opinion.
Thanks again to Chowdary garu and I hope that he will keep to his plan
and post more poems of this talented poet during these holidays (and
other poets he likes too).
K.V.S. Ramarao
> -----Original Message-----
> From: V. Chowdary Jampala [SMTP:cjampala@quark.dayton.net]
> Sent: Friday, December 26, 1997 11:40 AM
> To: *Will post to SCIT also*
> Subject: maLLee mahejabeen (typos corrected)
>
>
> (There were some typos in the earlier post. I regret the inconvenience
> ---VCJ)
>
>
> It was heartening to see the response to the mahejabeen poems. I
> am particularly pleased with the elevation in the level of discussion.
> I
> hope it continues. I plan to post three more kavitas of hers in the
> next
> few days, time permitting (I would like to post more, but I do not
> want to
> cheat the publishers and writers out of a well earned buck. For those
> that want more of mahejabeen's poetry, the publishers address is
> pratyaamnaaya pracuraNalu, 12-2-709/C/8, Karolbagh Road, Padmanaabha
> Nagar, Mehadeepatnam, Hyderabad -28; Ph: 3515470; price Rs.50.)
>
> Happy Holidays!!! --- V. Chowdary Jampala
>
>
>
> Jnaapakam
> ---------
>
>
> toli poddu cheekaTloe
> vaal`poasTar`lu atikinchi vacchi
> nuvvu talupu meeTina Jnaapakam
>
> talupu terichi nee nudiTi meeda
> udyamaaniki paTTina chemaTanu
> cheerakongutoe addina Jnaapakam
> appuDae paiTa jaarina Jnaapakam
> paiTa meeda nee vecchani Jnaapakam
>
> tolijhaamu veluturuloe
> kOdi paaDE prabhaata geetaanni vinToo
> manam oopiritoe chalikaachukunna Jnaapakam
> kanureppalu penavaesukunTunna
>
> toli niSSabda nimishaanni bhagnam chaestoo
> vaaLLu talupu koTTina Jnaapakam
> nuvvu en`kounTar`voe, laakap`voe
> teliyani sandigdha Jnaapakam
> raavani maatram telisina chaedu Jnaapakam
>
> toli sandhya kaantiloe
> nee vartamaanaanni moastoo
> naenu gaDapa daaTina Jnaapakam
>
> (aandhrajyOti daily, December 15, 1991)
>
>
>