RE: Two kavitas from mahejabeen
Ramarao, Ram (Ram_Ramarao@tri.sbc.com)
Tue, 23 Dec 1997 14:45:29 -0600
Two very beautiful poems indeed! I hope Chowdary garu can bring us more
of these.
I liked the first one particularly well since it all comes together very
nicely. In the second one, I have a feeling that the poet came up with
the last stanza first and then filled in the top (it does not flow as
smoothly as the first, in my view). But the last stanza is so powerful!
These are so good, I cann't resist from giving my interpretation and
analysis. In the first one, the first stanza says what happened but
chronologically it is the last event. Chronologically, 2nd stanza is the
first event: he is walking and she, with closed eyes, is pondering for
the right chandassu. In the 3rd, he gets closer; with eyes closed, she
senses his presence; her thoughts freeze. In the 4th, he kisses her
forehead (this isn't explicit but extrapolated from the sequence used:
next comes a sparSa and then comes a cUpu - so my guess is that the
first one might have been a kiss); touches her eyes and cheeks; she
senses him looking at her neck. In the 5th they get closer, embrace. In
the last, her lips open with desire and then finally, he kisses!
Excellent unfolding of events and the corresponding mental states;
showing the whole process as intermingled with the generation of poetry;
and telling it all from the viewpoint of a person seeing with the mind
(with eyes closed) - great Silpam!
A question to the learned: is there a particular "kavi samayam" being
referred to in the expression "nA kavisamayam dAruNamgA / kollagoTTa
baDutumdi"? One meaning is clearly "kaviyokka samayam" but obviously
there is a specific meaning for the expression "kavi samayam" in the
traditional poetry. Is that being used here, in addition to the obvious
one? If so, which "kavi samayam" among the many that exist, is being
referred to?
Also, in each stanza except the 4th, there is some reference to the
components of poetry - "kavitvIkarimcaTam" in the first, "Camdassu" in
the 2nd, "BAvanalu" in the 3rd, "aksharAlu and kavitvam" in the 5th and
"kAvyam" in the last. Unless we take "pamca cAmaram" in the 4th as the
traditional vRttam, the 4th has no such reference.
Finally, it would have been even better if it was shown that the
"kAvyam" also evolved with the physical events described. That doesn't
happen here. In fact, the "Bavanalu" become unconscious and kavitvam
leaves letters but the "kAvyam" doesn't get formed. But the last stanza
says that the lips "prEmakAvyAnni AvishkarimcukumTAyi". usually
"AvishkaraNam" is for a kAvyam that is complete. There's some gap here.
But, overall, it is such a nicely expressed sequence of thoughts!
I'm not going to do a similar detailed analysis of the 2nd poem but as I
said above, it's not as coherent as the first. There are some nice
images there too like the sky's picture getting frozen in the lake water
(saying that even the water is so still), and bullets hunting the
"majIranAdAlu" (women). But at one stage, "he" is said to be the sun but
in the end he is simply a leaf (that too a dead leaf?) that fell in the
fall. How did he fall so fast from being the sun to a leaf? This too
tends to support what I was saying before that the poet may have started
with the last stanza (which is a quite common occurrence for poets - I'm
not saying there's anything wrong with that; only that the rest of the
poem doesn't appear to fit the ending as well as it might have been).
K.V.S. Ramarao
> -----Original Message-----
> From: V. Chowdary Jampala [SMTP:cjampala@quark.dayton.net]
> Sent: Tuesday, December 23, 1997 1:07 PM
> To: *Will post to SCIT also*
> Subject: Two kavitas from mahejabeen
>
>
> Recently, Sri Kalasapudi Sreenivaasa Rao sent me
> aakuraalu_kaalam,
> an anthology of poetry by mahejabeen, one of the exciting new poetic
> voices in Telugu. Several of the kavitas in this volume with their
> unique
> blend of romanticism, sensitivity, social consciousness, modernity of
> thought and inventive use of language have impressed me immensely. I
> will
> post a couple of her poems here as a sample, as sort of a holiday
> gift.
>
> (Incidentally, from a production point of view, I think that
> this
> is one of the best produced Telugu poetry books. A breath taking
> oil-color
> painting by sooryaprakaash adorns the cover in full color, large type,
> lack of typos, plenty of white space and attractive layout enhanced
> the
> reading pleasure. Copies of the book can be had from pratyaamnaaya
> pracuraNalu, 12-2-709/c/8, Karolbagh Road, Padmanaabha nagar,
> mehadeepaTnam, Hyderabad-28. Ph: 3515470; price: Rs.50.)
>
>
>
> atani samakshamloe
> ------------------
>
>
> sariggaa appudae
> kavitveekaristunna kshaNaalloe
> atanu muddu peTTukunTaaDu
>
> atani aDugula savvaDiloe
> Chandassu vetukkunToo
> nEnu alavoakagaa kaLLu moosukunTaanu
>
> oka yavvanam
> naa meedugaa uppongipoatundi
> spashTamgaa roopu diddukunna
> aspashTa bhaavanalu
> vokkasaarigaa spRUha tappipOtaayi
> naa kavi samayam daaruNamgaa
> kollagoTTabaDutundi
>
> oka anaacChaadita prEma
> naa nagna faalaanni sparSistundi
> oka sparSa naa kaLLaloe munigi
> chekkili meeda kavvimpugaa merustundi
> medavampu loayalaloe vaali
> oka choopu
> pancha chaamaramai veestundi
>
> aksharaalanu vodili kavitvam
> mammalni penavaesukunTundi
>
> angeekaaramtoe pedavulu
> praemakaavyaanni aavishkarinchukunTaayi
>
> (aandhrajyOti daily, June 1, 1992)
>
>
>
>
> aakuraalu_kaalam
> ----------------
>
> ataneppuDoo antae
> onTarigaa rammanTE vasantaanni venTa testaaDu
>
> aarubayaTa aakula niSSabdamloe
> cheTlu kavaatu chaestunnaayi
> aa selayaeTi neeLLalloe
> aakaaSa chitram ghaneebhavinchindi
> chukkalu karigi raalutunna dRUSyam
> leelagaa gurtundi
>
> vaddu...
> naaku vennelaa vaddu, punnamee vaddu
> sooryuDokkaDu chaalu
>
> atani nireekshaNaloe ee nallani raatri alaa gaDavanee...
>
> ataneppuDoo antae
> vastoo vastoo paaTalni venTa testaaDu
>
> atani samakshamloe
> pOgoTTukunna baalyam tirigi pravahistundi
> Sareeram anubhavaala paaThaSaala avutundi
> nEnu atani gunDelloe daakkuni paDukunTaanu
> jhaamuraatri
> nirdaakshiNyamgaa nannu laepi
> manjeeranaadaalni tooTaalu venTaaDina vainam chebutaaDu
> appuDu
> bhaymagaa atanni naagunDeloe daachukunTaanu
>
> atanippuDu laeDu
> ee madhya atdhaantaramgaa vaccina
> aaku raalE kaalaaniki ekkaDa raalipaDDaaDoe?
>
> (aandhrajyOti daily, July 26, 1992)
>
>
> Happy Holidays!!! --- V. Chowdary Jampala
>