Chalam's SaSirEkha

N: ...Dharma Rao told me yesterday that he wishes to marry you. It's your 
   good fortune that a nice man like him feels that way. He wanted me to
   find out if you are interested.

S: I most certainly hate the idea. I haven't even been considering the option
   of marriage. Anyway, how can Dharma Rao marry a woman like me?

N: I knew you would say some thing like that. What's your objection to it? 
   Why shouldn't you marry?

S: I don't see the need for it. He doesn't inspire any affection in me. I don't
   even know him well.

N: I will vouch for the fact that he is a good man. He will keep you happy. 
   What else do you want? Even if you get to know him yourself, all you would be
   ascertaining is if he is a good man or not, right!

S: You are not married, are you?

N: No, I am not.

S: Seems like you don't get it. Does any one marry merely to be happy?

N: What else would one want from it!

S: It's precisely with this misconception that people marry their children 
   off. They marry their daughter off to a man who can keep her happy.
   In their opinion, a good man, a wealthy one or a well educated one
   would make her happy. This is just the story of child marriages in well-meaning
   families.  Of course, there are also those that destroy the lives of 
   children for their own selfish ends. Seems like you have brought me this
   alliance for similar reasons.

   (Dharma Rao isn't yet sure he wants to be a full time member of
    brahma samaj. Navajivan Das hopes Dharma Rao will take the leap if he 
    helps him in marrying Sasirekha.)

N: Leave all that alone. Won't you tell me why one would marry if not for
   happiness?

S: One marries to love. Nah, rather, one loves and hence, marries.
   'Can the man keep the woman happy? Is he a good person?' - these are
   pretty much irrelevant questions. Whether the man loves the woman or not is
   also not such an important determinant. All that matters to a woman is 
   whether she loves him or not. Doesn't matter if he is a rascal, or a beast,
   or a pauper; If the woman loves him, she'll give her life for him.
   That's marriage. Nothing else is.

N: Why not fall in love with this man then?

S: I don't love him. Love doesn't follow reason.

N: You seem to have a lot of misconceptions about marriage. The sustenance
   of this creation is the central theme. Only those in love can bond
   well. That's the reason why love was prescribed. Moreover, human weakness
   needs to be guarded against. Marriage keeps people from falling into sin.

S: You seem to be clueless on these issues. Does marriage keep one from sin?
   There is no bigger sin than marrying a person one doesn't like. Nothing
   more disgusting either.

N: Is there a higher love than the one in a family where two souls join 
   together in the worship of god?

S: Is this what you understood of love? Sounds more stupid to me than the 
   preaching that beckons one to realize god's love by falling at the
   feet of stones. There is no use in explaining it to you. One has to 
   experience love and realize it.

N: You seem to believe that love is the ultimate realization of life.
   This love is at best fleeting whereas god's love is eternal.

S: That love is eternal, for, it is lifeless. Love that breathes life
   will forever intensify, and change. That's why it is temporal and 
   fleeting.

N: Is that so? Why talk about anything else, let's look at your own life.
   You have committed many a sin, thanks to your fleeting affections, which
   brought you immense hardship. And what are you left with at the end of the
   day? You have no peace, and you wonder why your life is so despondent. Is that
   it? If only you had married a noble man, your life would have been a very
   happy one.

S: Is that your understanding? Are my troubles really troublesome? What about
   the happiness that I found? I can go through these troubles ten more times
   in exchange for one-hundredth of the happiness that I experienced. The
   eternal peace you are talking about is for those who haven't experienced real
   love. It's because I have experienced such passion, I lack peace today.

N: What you think of as love is mere lust! Pure love never pulls you into sin.

S: You derive great pleasure in the worship of god. What if I say that the origins
   of such pleasure lie not in the worship of god, but in the excited 
   state of your mind? Without experiencing all that I have, how can you
   brand it as mere lust? Is it right on your part to brand it that way?
   Lust is a small fire that can be doused in just a few seconds. Love is
   that electricity which lights up my whole life. It's not my body that craved
   for love, it's my soul. Some noble part of me longed for a life filled with
   love. My hopes, desires, aspirations, powers and my whole being united to
   become one with that great love. I had no other hope or craving all that
   time.

N: May be so. Wasn't all that love merely to serve your selfishness? That's why
   you filled it with sins. What eternal pleasure did you derive?

S: My goodness, is it my love that is selfish? Is being in love selfishness?
   If so, to even live is selfishness. Worship of God is selfishness. Why
   does anyone pray god? For themselves, right! To fulfill one's life is
   no selfishness.

N: But my devotion is causing no harm to anyone.

S: Is it my fault if it causes pain? What can I do if a man I cannot love
   desires me? What happiness can I give even if I stay with him? Who knows
   if someone out there is troubled by your state? Didn't I stay with a man
   called Sundara Rao even though I didn't love him? Do you see even that 
   as selfishness? But to me, it seems like the biggest sin that I had
   ever committed.

N: What's more sinful and filthier than such a life?

S: You are calling me names without knowing the facts. Why is it sinful?
   You keep claiming that you have managed to get rid of the stupidity found 
   in common people. Why then do you speak the way they would in these matters?

N: Because that's the truth. People of all ages have denounced prostituiton.

S: First of all, this is not prostitution. For ages, this country has been divided
   based on caste. Why did you renounce that then?

N: That's because it is not a good practice.

S: How did you know that it's not a good practice?

N: Through my own intellect.

S: Did you use your intellect? If so, why don't you use it in these matters as
   well? Are you merely subscribing to the popular notions, or did you think it out
   in your own mind? Until now, I have not committed a single sin on this count.
   I never wanted to satisfy my lust. I never cared for my happiness. Having
   coolly thought out what my nature desires, I have followed it faithfully.

N: Don't you have an inner self? Doesn't it cry foul?

S: I am telling you the truth. I have always faithfully obeyed the 
   dictates of my soul.  My inner self never called what I am doing a sin. 
   Had I married a man with no love for him, I would have been in deep sorrow, 
   as if I had committed the greatest sin.

N: Looks like your soul isn't enlightened enough. One man and one woman,
   in love with no other than each other, is the ideal.

S: May be so. But what if one of them stops loving the other!

N: One should never leave the hand that is held in the presence of god.

S: People change. Affections change. Why shouldn't one breakup?
   Did god forbid it? May be he waived the ban for people who lose their
   married one to death. Once love disappears, the partner is as good as dead.
   Did god say he doesn't like that? Why do you blame all these on 
   god? How many lives are being destroyed by forcing loveless couples
   to stay together in fear of god!

N: I haven't thought of these issues before. I don't wish to speak anymore 
   on this.